050: Letting Go of Superwoman
It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s…Superwoman!
Last week in Episode 49 we talked about how to conquer the overwhelm in our lives. Sadly because of all the pressures put on us by the world today, I think so many of us are living in this state of overwhelm instead of living out the full and meaningful life God has for us.
We believe that we have to become Superwoman.
You know we need to leap giant loads of laundry in a single bound or be able to change quickly from our spit-up stained shirt to something sexier for our husband when he gets home from work. Or we need to have a spotless home, well-behaved children, and always look put together. All of this while we may work outside the home or volunteer in some capacity.
The truth is we don’t have to do it all. There are only so many hours in a day to do what we know God is leading us to do. If we try to add in more than what we can handle, it will only lead to chaos and stress. On top of that, we will leave our callings unfulfilled because we are busy doing too many things.
Three Reasons We Would Believe This Lie
- We listen to the world that says we can have it all and do it all, so we should do all the things.
- Sometimes we really believe we can do it all.
- We are people pleasers at heart.
5 Signs You Are A People Pleaser
1. You try too hard to be seen as always doing the “right thing.”
2. You know how others feel about you and it deeply affects you.
3. You have a hard time making tough decisions, especially ones that won’t please everyone.
4. You have a hard time saying no without giving reasons why you are saying no.
5. You become easily depressed or discouraged when others don’t affirm you.
The bottom line is, we should only live to please God. He is the one who charts our course. We want to live in such a way that we are seeking Him daily so we know what we should really be doing.
What To Do When You Feel Like You Need To Please Everyone
1. Learn how to set boundaries.
Just like in the lie about measuring up, we need to know God’s plan for our life. Once we know that we can set boundaries and teach those who want us to please them what those boundaries are. That means knowing what you will do and what you won’t do.
2. Learn how to say no.
I don’t know about you, but this is hard for me. I really want to help people when they ask; however, just because we are asked to do something does not mean we should. What’s really hard is when someone says they’ve prayed about who to ask to do a certain task or to lead a group and they really feel like God is telling them you are the one. I’ve had that happen before and it’s hard to argue with.
However, I’ve learned to say, “Let me pray about it and see if God is telling me the same thing.” Sometimes the answer is yes, but often it is no. If I’m faithful to pray about it, God is faithful to show me if it’s His idea for me or if it’s not the right time or I’m not the right person. My best piece of advice on learning to say no is don’t say yes right away. Take some time to pray and consider it if possible. Look at your prior commitments and think about what God has called you to do.
3. Learn how to take care of yourself.
If we don’t take care of ourselves, we will not be able to serve others. If we’re too busy trying to please others, we will end up damaging our health and not be able to do what God has called us to do.
Three Tips To Help You Stop Believing The Lie You Have To Do It All
Consider What You Are Already Committed To
Once you take a good hard look at your calendar and commitments, it’s easy to see how much time left you have for other obligations.
Quit Comparing Your Life To Someone Else’s
Social media can be beneficial, but it also helps fuel this live having to do it all. Not only can it be a time-waster, but it can also lead to discontentment. When we compare someone’s “highlight reels” to our real life we often come up short. So it’s important we recognize what most people put out on social media represents only the best parts of their lives. It doesn’t tell the whole story.
Give Yourself And Others Grace
The next time you begin to believe the lie that you have to do it all, give yourself a little grace. Think about what we’ve talked through so far. Is your schedule full? Are you making progress on what you need to do even if it’s not perfect progress? Allow yourself to be content with where you are without feeling the need to do more. People in your life will thank you and you’ll be glad you did give yourself grace because you won’t be as stressed.
On the flip side, I think we should extend grace to others and not always add on to their responsibilities and make them feel like they should do it all.